The Manager You Think You Are vs. The One Your Team Experiences

The gap between the two symbolizes your leadership

OPINION PIECE

Uzair Hassan, CEO THREE H Solutions, Dubai

9/24/20263 min read

If your people need to fear you to perform, the battle is already lost. You’re not managing their performance, you’re managing their compliance.

Management styles differ. Globally. But the general consensus is that certain styles perform better than others.

Many managers, even to this day, operate under the assumption that keeping people scared and on tenterhooks around them is the way to effectively manage them.

We may not believe this is possible in this day and age, but such is the management landscape. There are always people believing they have management pat down to a T.

Same is the case with micro management. One would assume these are old tactics and no one in their right mind would be practicing them. Alas, they would be wrong.

We took a team out on a retreat. Provided them equipment, and rules, and asked them to complete an activity in 30 minutes. As we pressed the button of the stopwatch and stated “Your time starts now” their boss immediately stepped in and said ok guys get in line let me tell you the easiest way to do this. After the activity was over we pulled him into a huddle and informed him of our observation. He was astonished. “Did I actually do that?” I had not realized this, was his retort.

Later on that day another activity was handed to the team and as we shouted out, “Your time starts now” he shouted: ok everyone I think I know this one, form a line and follow what I do.

Awareness ≠ behavioural change. Awareness, is NOT behavioral change. Awareness is one thing, changing your behavior, consciously, is another. Its ingrained, so, its harder to throw off. Are you willing to fight the embedded habits that rule you?

So many cringe worthy experiences with management styles that it just amazes me that it is 2026, and I continue to see these in our day-to-day interactions with teams and leaders. Your team does not experience the manager you think you are. They experience the manager you become under pressure. When the patina of control slips away and the primal you comes out.

Awareness is key. As is the ability to notice our denial that we do such acts. Our ability to self -assess has no accountability, except to ourselves. We must use that wisely. Becoming conscious and cognizant of how we operate is a critical aspect of growth. And, surprisingly enough, the opportunities to grow are all around us if we were to only see and hear ourselves and open our minds to what is.

A manager actually informed me that his style was to ensure he was harsh and unforgiving with everyone in his team, so that they would not mess with him. Scare them into submission, so to speak.

In training leaders across a broad spectrum of industries, functions, geographic locations and seniorities, it is clear to me that leadership and management, both very different animals, are misunderstood, mal practiced and misused.

Dereliction is sometimes the approach. Other times its will full malpractice. Sometimes its over bearing and bossy, other times its far too friendly with everyone and sometimes it is neglect. Sometimes deliberate misuse of power. Sometimes overbearing control. Sometimes an unhealthy need to be liked. Whatever the reason may be, awareness dovetailed with change are the only answers worth focusing on.

The leadership and management landscape may be exacting, daunting, demanding. But, managing it effectively takes courage, resilience, open mindedness, authenticity, conscious and thought through approaches, genuine empathy and care. All things that one would generally take for granted as a given. But, under pressure and to ensure control, people tend to relapse into safety touch points.

Theres a gaping chasm between theory and practice. Our instincts are revealed under pressure and no amount of theoretical knowledge or conceptual clarity can pull one back from the brink.

Perhaps the question should not be if our teams are producing great results, but, if the person managing them is worth taking the risk. Because mismanagement is the root cause of unproductive, disengaged and lacklustre teams that eventually either burnout, breakup and leave or simply do not product the results they could, if managed effectively and led well.

It’s 2026 folks, leadership & management need to be effectual not only to attract talent and retain them, but ensure they produce the results you expect from them.

The management style we think we utilize and the management behaviour observed and experienced by our people may just be two completely different things. A reality check may be in order.

Two step solution:

1) Become aware of your style, your approach your actual behaviour.

2) Implement behaviour change, if required.

Can’t get simpler than this. Try it out. It may surprise you.

Uzair Hassan, CEO, Three H Solutions

Uzair.hassan@3hsolutions.biz

https://www.linkedin.com/in/uzair-hassan-6451024/